Tag Archives: tools

Q: I notice that I bop along pretty good most of the time and navigate contrast and doing the best with it as a rule. And then other people’s desires or wants collide with your own desire or want because you have interactions with them, whether it’s personal, as in an intimate love relationship, or work, or children.

And as our segments change, the people also tend to change. And once you referred to how people will be kind of removed from your life when they aren’t really supposed to be there, you don’t have to do too much about it. And I noticed recently, I’ve been having a relationship with a man, and it really came clear to me that I didn’t feel very comfortable a lot of the time. I started to notice how I felt. And I thought, “I shouldn’t be in this relationship.” He’s not a bad person or anything; I have nothing to say on that level. But I noticed I didn’t feel comfortable a lot of the time. And it came to me that I had to initiate removing myself from the relationship, which isn’t what he wanted. And that’s difficult. Because there’s that sense that you’re creating discomfort for somebody else. So something that your action is doing for your own well-being and what you want, you know, you have other people who are really pushing against you. I wanted to kind of surf that with you, if we might.

Esther Hicks

Abraham: Well, most of you are a little bit impatient and you want to jump in to the middle of things with your action in order to try to facilitate them. Where what we would do, if we were standing in your physical shoes, is we would align ourselves with our own desires and let the Manager called Law of Attraction work things out. And by that — let’s take the example of the lover. So you realize that you’re feeling uncomfortable. And you could offer the words that say, “I don’t want to do this any more” . . .

Q: Which I did.

A: Which felt uncomfortable for you to offer and felt uncomfortable for him to receive. Or you could acknowledge that you notice that you’re not a vibrational match. Now this is the thing that is hard to hear but when you think about Law of Attraction as you know it to be, it makes perfect sense. So let’s say you are focused upon the things you like the most about this person. And you beat the drum of those things. Maybe there’s 10 things don’t like and one thing that you do, but you beat the drum of the thing that you like. You beat the drum of what you want, which is not the predominant part, let’s say, for sake of our example.

So what happens is you activate within yourself the very best that you’ve seen in this person, which means you activate that in them, which means your relationship gets better. But let’s say the part that you’ve activated, which means the most to you, is a very small part of who this person has practiced being.

Q: Right.

A: And so, as you make yourself not a reflector of who this person is, but a reflector of only a part of who this person is, you stay in alignment, but you lose your connection with this person because you begin offering a vibration that is different from who this person is. In other words, as you look at this person in his entirety and you beat the drum of everything that he is, you’re a perfect reflection of who he is, and it’s logical that he would be in your life forever — all of the parts. But if you’re only beating the part that means the most . . .

Q: A-ha.

A: Then the Manager called Law of Attraction has the break-up party. In other words [audience laughter], he meets someone else . . .

Q. Got it.

A: He moves to another town. Something happens that is ultimately comfortable for you. Someone said to us one day about an ex-mate. We said, “Well, focus upon the positive aspects.” And this person said, “But Abraham, do not misunderstand, I do NOT want to bring this person back into my life. I don’t even want to have lunch with this person.” And we said, “Do not misunderstand, as you focus upon the positive aspects, you make your vibrational stand. And if they’re nowhere in the vibrational proximity, they’ve got to go away.” And what causes people to hold people they don’t want in their experience, to the point that then they have to offer some overt, uncomfortable action in order to change it, is being sloppy in your vibration by being an observer of what is rather than a deliberate offerer of what you want to see.

 Q: I got that. Yes. I can see how that functions that way.

 A: Good. Because it was an excellent answer. [audience laughter]

 Q: It was. And it’s hard to decipher that, because creating in the context of another human, because you’re creating in their now and their Beingness at the same time —

 A: Well there’s a bigger reason for it, and that is that you are accustomed to offering your vibration in response to what you are observing. And with other people, there is so much to observe.

 Q: Right.

 A: And so, as they be, you often accept. In other words, you let them be as they’re reflecting to you, rather than assuming that they’re as you need them to be in order to feel good.

Q: Right. Thank you. Thank you so much.

A: Yes indeed.

~ Abraham, North Los Angeles, 8/17/03

Katherine C. H. E.
CEO and Founder
iaLOAp — international association for Law of Attraction professionals